Signs That You Should Look For Another Doctor

Red flags for the patient seeking a traditional doctor.

“You got to know when to hold ‘em. Know when to fold ‘em. Know when to walk away and know when to run.”

The Gambler by Kenny Rogers.

Are you a traditionalist? Do you believe when you go to a doctor, you should actually see a doctor? Do you expect them to talk to you, examine you, explain things clearly, and answer your questions? No, you aren’t expecting too much but it is a jungle out there and, in order to avoid frustration and wasted time, it is helpful to have some useful guideposts to help you quickly determine if you have truly found “Dr. Right.”

There are lots of ways to find a doctor. You can check with the local medical society or hospital. You can ask friends or neighbors who they see. You can check with the medical board for the type of doctor you are seeking, e.g. American Board of Family Medicine or American Board of Internal Medicine. You can look at your medical insurance policy and see what physicians are contracted with your insurance company. You can search online for practice websites, but these are notoriously unreliable. You will soon learn that, on their website, every doctor is the most accomplished, compassionate physician of all time with a long list of accomplishments, awards, authored papers and texts, lectures, innovations, and countless appearances on cable TV and podcasts. In short, all doctors, in their own eyes, are GOAT’s.

None of the approaches above, however, can assure you that the doctor is competent or that you will connect with them. Only by visiting the practice and engaging with the doctor directly can you get a real sense of who they are and how compatible you might be. A lot of this is subjective, but there are some telltale, objective signs you can look for. Paying attention to these can save you a lot of grief, annoyance, and wasted time.

Here are 25 signs to look out for that suggest you should consider looking for a different doctor:

1. If they insist right off that you must first see a nurse practitioner or physician’s assistant as a pre-requisite to seeing you.

2. If they display an LGBTQ++ flag or “From the river to the sea” poster anywhere in the office.

3. If you see even a single poster of the “Genderbread Boy” or gender unicorn.

4. If the waiting room has no magazines because they are still following Covid mitigation measures (as we all know, magazines are a major source of disease spread).

5. If the receptionist’s window has a plexiglass screen.

6. If seating is spread out to keep you at least one seat away from anyone else.

7. If you see footprint markers on the carpeting showing where you should stand.

8. If you see a sign that says “Thank you for social distancing.”

9. If the physician enters the room and introduces themselves including their name AND pronouns. This is a true “woke” physician who cares more about your demographic identity than you personally. Leave. Fast.

10. If they show up wearing a mask and do not make it clear this is just temporary, because they are coughing or some such and want to be considerate. Run, don’t walk, away. This is a physician who has abandoned all pretense of “following the science.”

11. Ditto No. 10 if they ask you to put on a mask, even though you aren’t sick.

12. If they substitute fist bumps for a handshake, or don’t extend a hand at all.

13. If they spend more time looking at a screen or entering data than talking to you.

14. If they examine you without asking you to disrobe, at least partially, or listen to your heart and lungs through your clothes.

15. If they don’t examine you at all.

16. If they only touch you with gloves on.

17. If they examine you without gloves but don’t wash their hands afterwards.

18. If they do not allow time for you to ask questions and answer them thoroughly.

19. If they speak to you in highly technical “medicalese” that you cannot understand and seem incapable of speaking in terms you can.

20. If they respond to a question by saying, “Who’s the doctor here?”

21. If they have an accent so thick it is incomprehensible. (This is touchy as I have many medical colleagues whose first language was not English. Nearly all are excellent physicians, but several have accents so thick that I cannot have an intelligible conversation with them. It is not being xenophobic, racist, or any other such thing to insist on a doctor you can understand and communicate fluently with. Older patients and those with poor hearing in particular have problems with accents.)

22. If they resort to prescribing medications first and do not counsel you on lifestyle changes you can do to improve your health.

23. If they counsel you on lifestyle changes while sitting in front of you as a clearly obese man or woman. (In fairness, a physician not following their own advice does not mean the advice is no good- physicians are human after all, but it is hard to take them seriously)

24. If they cannot tell you what a woman is. (Hint: adult human female) Flee. Do not pass “go” or collect your $200.

One final sign to be wary and reserve judgment until you have completed your consultation:

25. If they are younger than 40-years-old.

Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments.

(The above is offered tongue-in-cheek, but there is a lot of truth in the humor)

Richard T. Bosshardt, MD, FACS

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